Um, what?

“PPIN’s move has enraged various anti-abortion organizations—Indiana Right to Life and the Indiana Family Institute among them. Jim Sedlak, vice president of the American Life League and executive director of Stop Planned Parenthood, an anti-abortion group based in Stafford, Va., condemns the certificates as a continuation of Planned Parenthood’s “annual attacks on the Christian community at Christmastime.”

I just recently donated money to my local Planned Parenthood, and they didn’t mention anything about an annual tradition of attacking the Christian community! What, is that only for those who donate $100 or more? I want to knock over some nativity scenes and hang a life-size Santa on a crucifix, too! It’s not fair! I guess I just have to get my Christian hate on by the usual vicarious route of listening to Scandinavian black metal bands.

I’d hate to hear what Mr. Sedlak would think of my annual holiday tradition of masturbating to my treasured copies of North Polesmokers; Hos, Hos, Hos; O Cum All Ye Faithful; Santa’s Sack; Threeway in a Manger and Kris Kringle’s Naughty List: Workshop Buttsluts, Vol. 9. It’s like a sperm genocide!