Don’t repent to a bruise
He says that he still loves you
Tell me why does he hit you?

— VAST

I seem to know a lot of fucking assholes. I guess I’m just lucky.

Anyway, I had read a few different articles about the whole Chris Brown/Rhianna situation, and I was struck by something that was reinforced by my conversations with different acquaintances when the topic came up — it’s strange how quickly people look to express their anger and frustration at her for putting up with his abusive behavior. “If she’s too stupid to leave him, the bitch deserves what she gets” being a common sentiment.

Deserves? Maybe if you use it in the sense that yes, her failure to do something to end the abuse will predictably lead to more beatings until she’s in a coma or the morgue, but obviously they mean it in the sense of a moral judgment, as if the victim is just as contemptible as her attacker. I just don’t get that. A minute ago, she was an innocent person minding her own business as far as you knew; now it’s only fair if she gets beaten repeatedly for not reacting the way you want her to?

I don’t understand why people like this act as if their sympathy is a precious resource that must be conserved as much as possible. Why is it so hard to recognize that the psychological aspects of people in abusive situations isn’t quite so cut-and-dried for them as it is for an outsider? Why isn’t the reaction more along the lines of just hoping that her friends and family can help her through this? I’d personally rather be angry at the fact that nice, easy-going people get taken advantage of and victimized by worthless sacks of shit like Brown than to be angry that not everyone walks around with a hard-as-nails attitude, ready to fight at the drop of a hat.

Of course, to be generous, it could be a form of self-protection itself — when people feel powerless to affect a situation, it’s probably easier for their peace of mind to wash their hands of it and walk away than to continue to feel upset about it but helpless to stop it. Still, blaming the victim is a pretty cowardly and shitty thing to do.