Nazi Gnomes Cause Outcry in Germany

Well, if there’s ever a holocaust of Jewish snails, gypsy earthworms, leftist aphids, and socially degenerate toads, we can’t say we weren’t warned. On the bright side, they don’t require nearly as much lebensraum, so maybe the Russian butterflies have nothing to worry about.

“I want to show that there is far-right thought in the heads of all of us,” he said, adding that gnomes were a particularly fitting method for conveying his message “in a lighter and unpatronising way, at the same time as being strong enough to provoke a reaction.

Wow, that’s deep. Seriously, if our avant-garde hero hadn’t come along and peeled back the layers of propaganda, thought control, and stultifying social conformity that prevent us from grasping such esoteric truths, I might have needed to find a teenager who had just discovered the History Channel, Lord of the Rings and marijuana to share this insight with me.

“As long as I manage to polarise, I’m on the right track,” he added.

Right, because sycophantic adulation and vehement opposition are so hard to come by. You know, sometimes when people are uproariously laughing at you or staring at you in bewilderment, it’s not because they’re trying desperately to mask their fear of the painful truth you bring, it’s just because you’re a fucking idiot and completely unaware of it. Rule of thumb: if you can imagine your art ending up on Regretsy, you’re not anywhere near the station, let alone on the right track.