Wait…am I reading the Onion?

Woods’ Apology Praised, Panned

Tiger Woods’ performance yesterday drew mixed reviews from some image professionals in the area.…Stuart rated the performance a B+.

However, Ernest DelBuono, who handles crisis-management services for Richmond-based advertising and public-relations firm Neathawk Dubuque & Packett, said Woods did not need to show such public contrition and questioned why he did it in the first place.

At the Martin Agency, Woods’ appearance drew a crowd around the TVs. Though the Shockoe Slip-based ad agency did not have clients tied to Woods, the company’s director of marketing communications, Dean Jarrett, and others were curious how Woods would handle himself as a brand.

For more in-depth exploration of the nuances of the public apology of a ravenous, insatiable fuckmonster, please see this helpful diagram.

I saw both of these articles hours ago, and I just cannot stop laughing. I might just have to tune into cable news to see if they have any high-tech presentations to help me better understand all the details.