“For now, let’s keep the door open to the idea that animals can be spiritual beings and let’s consider the evidence for such a claim,” he added.
“Meager as it is, available evidence says, ‘Yes, animals can have spiritual experiences,’ and we need to conduct further research and engage in interdisciplinary discussions before we say that animals cannot and do not experience spirituality.”
Oh, gods, please, no. If animals become narcissistic, pompous bores who spend all their time looking for proof that the universe revolves around them, whose company will I be able to keep when I need to recover from the folly of my own kind? I’ll have no choice but to finally disappear into bags of elephant tranquilizers and syringes full of heroin.