David Sirota:

Although the stereotype imagines vegetarians sententiously screaming at any meat eater they see at the lunch counter or dinner table, I’ve found quite the opposite to be true. In my personal life, I go out of my way to avoid talking about my vegetarianism while I’m eating with friends, family or work colleagues, but nonetheless regularly find myself being interrogated by carnivores when they happen to notice that I’m not wolfing down a plate of meat.

Yes indeed. He goes on to detail the sorts of accusations and responses that inevitably accompany discussions of food and ethics. However, I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough of that for one lifetime. I don’t care at all to convince or even argue with anyone about it anymore. Now, I just have two stock responses on hand for when I find myself confronted by curious/defensive carnivores:

1. No, I don’t have anything against eating meat. I just fucking hate fruits and vegetables and enjoy killing them and devouring their corpses.

2. Why am I vegetarian? Because cannibalism isn’t legal yet, and brother, let me tell you, when you’ve feasted on the most succulent flesh of all, you have no interest anymore in the paltry substitute of other animals.