Socrates introduced the beard as an indispensible part of Western society’s conceptualization of the sagacious philosopher. Even though his successors claimed he refused to flee Athens before his execution for ethical reasons, we prefer to believe that Socrates knew a life on the lam would require shaving his most distinguishing feature, and chose death instead.
In a similar example of unflinching heroism, I refused to pursue a career at UPS when I was informed that they didn’t allow beards on their drivers. FedEx, I’m happy to say, is much more hospitable to those of us who refuse to be taken in by all the propaganda of Big Shaving.