I’ve said many times over the years, to any who would listen, that Bill Watterson’s comic strip Calvin & Hobbes is one of the keystones of my intellectual development. And I’ve put idiots on notice that I will not stand by passively while they desecrate Calvin’s sacred image in service of NASCAR and bible-thumping.

But after seeing yet another rear-window decal today, I’ve decided it’s time to take the fight to the enemy on their own turf. I’m going to get both a “Pissing Calvin” and a “Praying Calvin” sticker and use an x-acto knife to creatively combine the two in a more accurate reflection of the strip’s iconoclastic spirit. A variation on Serrano’s Piss Christ, if you will. Honestly, I’m ashamed it took me this long to think of it.