Kat Timpf:

Now that we have established that it is, in fact, NOT fall, I am going to explain to you why it is also wrong for you to want it to be fall.

Tsk, tsk. There is unfortunately no discussion to be had with people possessed of an irrational aversion to gorgeous, cool weather and nature’s own fireworks display. We can, however, address this pernicious calendrical prescriptivism, which would have us referring to the twentieth of December as “fall.” Does that feel true to anyone’s lived experience? As a calendrical descriptivist, I seek to describe popular usage, rather than rely on astronomical “experts” to impose my views. Hence, fall began on September the first at twelve a.m. and will continue until the beginning of winter on December the first at twelve a.m. March the first, June the first, you see how this goes. Simple and intuitive.

Timpf is also wrong in saying we should not want it to be fall, and I can easily prove it. Bugs are dying by the truckload. I rest my case.