I cannot keep a record of my life by my actions; fortune places them too low. I keep it by my thoughts. Thus I knew a gentleman who gave knowledge of his life only by the workings of his belly; you would see on display at his home a row of chamber pots, seven or eight days’ worth. That was his study, his conversation; all other talk stank in his nostrils. Here you have, a little more decently, some excrements of an aged mind, now hard, now loose, and always undigested.

— Montaigne, “Of Vanity”

Two things: one, this reminds me of how I first encountered the word “costive” in one of Joseph Epstein’s essays. In context, he used it as a synonym for “reticent” or “taciturn,” and I’m always happy to find new versions on that theme. Upon looking it up, I learned that the primary use was in describing literal, not metaphorical, constipation, and decided I probably wouldn’t use it. I may well be full of it, but I’d rather not suggest it so vividly to my readers. And two, to paraphrase Dave Barry, “Some Excrements of an Aged Mind” would make an excellent name for a blog. Looks like the domain is still available if you’re interested!