I mentioned to the Lady of the House that I was thinking about getting a steam mop for the linoleum floors. She suggested I check reviews at Good Housekeeping. So over I clicked, to be greeted with:

I mean, really. Can a fellow not simply research how to get the kitchen floor shiny without having to submit to a struggle session and interrogate his privileging of the dominant paradigm which subordinates floors of color to a colonialist ideal of bright whiteness? Before the internet, there was only one instance in my life when a stranger came up to me in a parking lot and handed me an evangelical tract, which I promptly threw away. Now, the fundamentalist preachers of Diversity and Inclusion™ are standing around the entrance to nearly every website, pressing their literature in our faces, and stashing cookies in our browsers so they can track us down later. I’m tempted to make a wisecrack about whited sepulchres, but I fear in today’s climate, that would only be taken as a covert expression of racism.