You laugh, and you should, but these are the theological issues of our age.

A woman we had doing some contract work told us that she attended the Women’s March a few years ago, and while she was there, nature texted, so she looked around and noticed that the porta-potties were owned by a company called “Don’s Johns,” or something to that effect. So, she did the totally normal thing that anyone would have done — she Googled the company to make sure it wasn’t owned by, you know, that Don, because “it’s the sort of thing he would do! He’s got his fingers in all sorts of pies!”

He would… make money off the people protesting against him? Well, I must admit, I’d have to respect that kind of hustle.

I’m afraid I don’t have the instincts of an investigative journalist. I didn’t think to ask her if she wore one of those pussy hats, for one thing, but more importantly, I didn’t think to follow up on the logic of what, exactly, it would have entailed if Trump had owned the company. Would you withhold your bodily waste in protest? Soil yourself? Or, conversely, would you be eager to relieve yourself in “his” toilets as some kind of insult or defilement? I don’t understand these religious purity rituals.