Those of us of a certain vintage will always remember the Onion fondly. Their smart, acerbic satire seemed inexhaustible during the late 90s and 00s. It was a time when I could put an “America’s Most Trusted News Source” sticker on my bass guitar case without embarrassment. Like most of American pop culture, though, it went into the washing machine of the Great Awokening a decade ago and came out streaked with partisan preachiness. I had given it up for dead many years ago. I even removed that sticker from my bass case a while back. It was too painful to be reminded of days long gone.

Did you know NBC used to employ a disinformation reporter? Well, more than one, I believe, but this one in particular was named Ben Collins, and he was a source of much merriment for his po-faced efforts to launder Democrat partisanship under the guise of reporting on misinformation, disinformation, and malinformation — sort of the Huey, Dewey and Louie of thoughtcrime — all while being a reliable source of inaccurate information himself. As we all know, 2016 was a traumatic event for people on the left side of the political spectrum. Some went into a full psychotic break from which they have yet to recover. One major consequence of that election was that many libs dried their tears, hardened their hearts, and became resolved that ideals of democracy and self-government were children’s fables. Here in the real world, the masses had proven themselves too stupid and irresponsible to be trusted with making their own decisions. They would have to be “nudged,” lightly or firmly as the case may be, into doing what they oughta. What’s the use of dominating so many media institutions if you don’t put it to good use? And so we find ourselves here today, where NPR installs a CEO who is most likely a robotic creation of U.S. intelligence, a soulless automaton programmed to destroy thoughtcrime.

But we were talking about Mr. Collins. Last anyone had heard of him, he had performatively flounced off of Twitter in protest of Elon firing all of his friends in the Trust and Safety Commission, or whatever they called their ideological oversight department, before dramatically announcing that he was leaving journalism altogether with his future uncertain. You may be able to guess where this is all going. Yes, Collins came out of seclusion last week to announce that he — a man without “skills or family connections or money or anything,” remember — and a group of friends had bought the Onion, and he would be its new CEO. An aspiring commissar in charge of a humor site? How will that go? Well…

It’s one thing to see loved ones die. It’s a-whole-nother level of torture to see them hollowed out and used as a skinsuit by one of the murderers.