The end is near! Again!
jests japes jokes jollies
I wasn’t aware he had a normal side:
Catholic League President Bill Donohue presented a paranoid side of his personality to Fox News Monday morning, declaring that “militant, dogmatic” atheists are “out to get” Catholics and dismantle American society.
And I know the Lebowski quotations are IOZ’s thing, but still, this is just too tempting:
“But the new radicals are the nihilists, all they want to do is tear down the cultural edifice of American society. They are intellectually spent, they have nothing to offer.”
Walter Sobchak: Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.
“This was the most Nazi-like assault,” Donohue said. “The most unrelenting half an hour of bashing I’ve ever seen.”
The Nazi comparison appears to be Donohue’s theme for his publicity battle with Penn & Teller, which he blames on CBS, as it owns Showtime, the network that airs Penn & Teller’s show.
“The Nazis couldn’t have done better,” Donohue said in a statement.
Donny: Are these the Nazis, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There’s nothing to be afraid of.
The Cajun Cryptkeeper says we should let Republicans win the fight over health care reform because —
Yeah, you know, if you want to tell kids to not be fools, play by the rules, stay in school, it’s probably best if you don’t hire a motivational speaker who dropped out in ninth grade and grifted his way to fame and fortune.
Iran only needs to look next door to be reminded that cooperating fully with inspectors to prove that you have nothing but Ewok weapons to defend yourself with will lead to nothing but brazen lies about your obstinate refusal to cooperate, followed by invasion and occupation.
Wasn’t it the eminent scholar of fascism, Jonah Goldberg, who called our attention to the theretofore unnoticed line connecting healthy lifestyles to the death camps? What, has the right wing gotten in touch with their inner health Nazis all of a sudden?
The Surgeon General’s job is a bureaucratic one; I’m sure Benjamin can keep up to date on the latest health news, give lectures and shuffle papers full of statistics as well as any skinny person. It’s not as if she’s going to be leading the nation every morning at eight a.m. in a televised, government-mandated five-mile jog, and needless to say (but I will anyway), if she were going to do something like that, these same people would have one enormous, collective aneurgasm. The howls of outrage would be deafening as our basement-dwelling shut-ins would be frantically stockpiling candy and soda while insisting that the Bill of Rights guaranteed everyone the opportunity to eat junk food soaked in beer for breakfast, who do these granola-munching hippies think they are, and so on.
It’s almost like they just reflexively bitch and complain no matter what.
King Louis XVI: You said it! They stink on ice!
I just like the part about installing the Secretary of State as the interim Chief Executive. If you had predicted just a couple years ago that the founder of Free Republic would call for installing Hillary Clinton anywhere near the White House, I would have just stared in bewildered silence.
Chris Daughtry of the multiplatinum band Daughtry inducted Bon Jovi and Sambora. Afterward, Bon Jovi, with Sambora on a double-neck guitar, performed “Wanted: Dead or Alive,” one of Bon Jovi’s many signature hits.
Earlier in the evening, Daughtry talked about the impact Bon Jovi had on his band. “They’re a huge influence on our career as songwriters, as performers, as people,” he said.
As it happens, I knew Chris Daughtry for several years before he became famous — played guitar together, I went to see his Creed/Tool-sounding band play shows in town a couple of times, all that good stuff. His ex is still one of my closest friends, and she told me after his stint on American Idol that it really irked her to see him playing a Bon Jovi song on there, given that he had always hated them and given her shit for listening to them. She’s gonna love this.
If I were this abysmally fucking stupid, I wouldn’t want to speak my name either.
So, I guess when Obama was making promises last year about bringing troops home, he didn’t know the economy was bad? What does it say when attempts to defend him are predicated on him being even more oblivious than Dubya?
I thought reading Digby’s comments periodically had inured me to the most outlandish attempts to make excuses for the guy, but holy fuck, was I wrong.
Now I can never unknow the image of a senior citizen accidentally strangling himself while jacking off.
It does make me wonder if this sort of thing has caused a decrease in the number of guys who commit suicide by hanging. I’m picturing some poor schlub, beaten down by life, weary of it all, who decides to use a gun or sleeping pills or jump off a bridge because he just can’t stand the thought of having his final, harrowing expression of unbearable existential pain diminished by the rumor circulating afterward that he was just too clumsy while freaky-masturbating. Just one indignity too far, you know?
Or maybe guys who do hang themselves are going to film the entire event while dressed in winter clothes, just to be safe.