The White House says President Barack Obama has commended the owner of the Philadelphia Eagles for giving quarterback Michael Vick a second chance after his release from prison.
Obama spokesman Bill Burton says the president told owner Jeffrey Lurie that while he condemns the crimes Vick was convicted of, he believes people who have paid for their crimes should have the opportunity to contribute to society again.
Yeah, we’ve heard this a lot ever since his prison term neared its end, usually from people in the NFL with dollar signs for pupils. Even so, I agreed, despite my utter loathing of this two-legged sack of human waste. He should be able to contribute to society again. Those kennels at the SPCA aren’t going to hose themselves out, after all. But I’m sure there’s nothing disingenuous about this sudden consensus that it’s time to officially forgive Michael Vick that just so happens to accompany Vick’s leading his team into the playoffs, is there? Don’t all illiterate, functionally retarded, violent felons get to waltz right back into their former high-paying jobs once they serve their time? Are you seriously suggesting that Myrrhkins don’t have a single moral conviction they wouldn’t happily sacrifice for the sake of entertainment? Well! I bid you good day, sir!
I SAID GOOD DAY!