Police say a Colorado man is suspected of stomping his girlfriend’s puppy to death because she wouldn’t answer her phone.
Colorado Springs police arrested 25-year-old Christopher Blackstone on suspicion of felony cruelty to animals after his girlfriend discovered her dog wrapped in a garbage bag in a trash bin outside her apartment on Dec. 24.
Just one? Aww, that’s nothing. His lawyer’s probably asking him right now: How’s your forward pass, kid? Your time in the 40-yard dash? What about your jump shot? Hell, we can work with a fastball! Play your cards right, and in a mere couple years, you can have everyone from airhead writers at Salon to the President himself urging everyone to forgive and forget so we can get down to the important business of being entertained.